


This Is How I Disappear

by ToxicTraitor



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V
Genre: Blood, Cannibalism, Generally Pretty Horrible, Gore, M/M, Non-Consensual, Sexual Content, Torture, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-05-20 19:32:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6022198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToxicTraitor/pseuds/ToxicTraitor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two years after the death of his sister, Shun tries to rebuild his life again.  He finds himself in the arms of a man with horrible, dark and twisted secrets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Place In the Dark Where the Animals Go

**Author's Note:**

> First and foremost, I don't know why I wrote this. Secondly, this is really bad, please don't read if you are sensitive to this kind of material, stay safe okay. Thirdly, I don't know why I haven't been booted out of the fandom yet.

The house was too quiet, too empty without her.  There was no music or the twinkling sound of her laughter.  There was no life left in this cold, damned house.  Not ever since she was taken from him.

            When Shun had gotten the news, at first it had made no sense.  He thinks he had laughed when the officer broke the news to him.  It sounded like a joke; it _must_ have been some sort of cruel, heartless joke.  That sort of thing never happened to people like him or people like Ruri.

            Of course it wasn’t a joke; it was far from a joke.  Shun’s laughter was cut off midair to be replaced with a choked cry.  He doesn’t remember much after that except for Yuuto wrapping bandages around his bruised, bleeding knuckles and the mess in the room around them.  Shun thinks he might have taken his anger out on the furniture.

            The funeral was short; after all, what could they do without a body?  Shun doesn’t remember crying.  He doesn’t remember feeling.  He doesn’t even remember attending.  When Yuuto talks about it, it sounds like he’s describing someone else’s life.

            “It’s been two years, Shun,” Yuuto sighs, “Ruri would want you to be happy.  You know what she would say if she saw you like this,”

            Shun doesn’t want to answer.  It doesn’t matter anymore.  The moment Ruri was gone; Shun lost the most important thing in his life.  He lost a part of himself that he can’t replace.  Ruri was always more than a sister, she was his whole world.

            Now that she’s gone, there’s no point anymore.  There’s no one to look after.  There’s no one to smile at him every morning.  There’s no one to remind him to eat or sleep.  Now that Ruri is gone, Shun has no more family left.

            Ruri was too good, too pure.  She was always so kind and so sweet.  Sometimes Shun wondered how they could be related when she was practically a saint and he was nothing but a sinner.  He should have been the one that had died, not her.

            People like Ruri deserved more than what she got, a hole in the ground with her name on it.  She deserved to live a long, happy life.  Instead she got her name printed on some file collecting dust because the detective on her case decided he had better things to do than to find a missing girl and bring her home to her family.

            Shun resents that.  He resents that he wasn’t there when Ruri needed him.  He resents that he hasn’t found her.  She wasn’t the type to let him worry, she wouldn’t just leave.  He knows something horrible must have happened to her and he resents that he wasn’t there to save her.

            “Shun,” Yuuto sighs again, “You need to learn how to live again,”

            “Why?” Shun asks.

            Yuuto is quiet for a moment, “You’ll disappoint her if you don’t,”

            Shun’s heart is hit with a sudden spike of pain.  She would be disappointed in him if she saw him.  If she were still here, she would be forcing him out the door or dragging him to a party by his wrists.

            Yuuto sighs.  He reaches out for Shun’s hand, stroking the back of it gently.  Shun kisses him then, the way he always does whenever the ache in his heart becomes too much.  Yuuto is warm and his body chases the cold away, even if the warmth doesn’t last.

            Shun thinks that he might actually love Yuuto in the kind of way his mother used to love his father before they had both passed away.  Shun thinks that he would be glad to spend the rest of his life with Yuuto.  He wants to but Yuuto has his eyes and heart set on another boy.

            Yuuto pulls away from the kiss, gently breaking it the way he always did.  His face is that mixture of pity and disappointment that Shun hates.

            “I’m sorry, Shun,” Yuuto shakes his head, “You know I can’t kiss you like this,”

            Shun knows but he doesn’t have the ability to care anymore.  He’d do anything to chase away the pain, even if that meant kissing Yuuto when Yuuto had made it clear that he was dating someone else.

            “You used to let me kiss you,” Shun mutters half-hearted. 

            Yuuto used to kiss him; he used to do more than that.  After losing Ruri, Shun had fallen apart.  He couldn’t even get out of bed.  Back then Yuuto would come to him and press kisses into his neck.  Back then Shun used to run his hands all over Yuuto’s body.

            Those were the only moments when Shun felt alive again.  Those were the only moments that weren’t cold and lonely.  When Shun was lost in the haze of Yuuto’s warm body, that was all that mattered, the pleasure and warmth he had felt. 

            Those moments never lasted though.  As soon as it was over Shun could feel the cold creeping back up his spine and choking the air from his lungs. 

            Shun tries again, closing his eyes to kiss Yuuto once more.  Yuuto sighs, kissing Shun gently, being careful not to hurt his feelings anymore.  Shun presses, wanting more than a kiss.  He wants Yuuto to chase the rest of his pain away, to make him whole again.  He wants it all but Yuuto pushes him away again.

            “Just go,” Shun mutters quietly, “I want to be alone,”

            Yuuto’s forehead crumples with worry.  He leans down to kiss Shun’s head once before he turns to leave, “Just think about what I said.  Ruri would want you to be happy, even if it means a life without her,”

 

Shun stares at his reflection in the mirror.  He looks like a mess, even more so than usual.  His hair is getting too long and it keeps falling into his eyes.  His clothes are crumpled and the dark circles under his eyes make him more aware of how little sleep he’s been having.

            He tries though, to look decent enough.  He tries to trim his hair but it ends up even more lop-sided than usual.  He irons his clothes but they look strange on his body, he’s lost too much weight.

            His plans are simple.  He just wants to pay Yuuto a visit and maybe ask him out for dinner.  Maybe they could go to a bar and have a drink.  Shun keeps secretly hoping that maybe one day Yuuto will finally dump his boyfriend and then they can be together.

            When he gets to Yuuto’s house, Yuuya opens the door and Shun’s strained smile falls at the sight of him.

            “Is your brother home?” Shun asks.

            Yuuya shakes his head, “He went out with his boyfriend.  Do you want to come in?  You can wait here if it’s important,”

            Shun’s heart breaks at the word ‘boyfriend’.  He wants Yuuto so much that it chokes him.  It seems like every time he tries to make a move, something gets in his way.

            Shun’s tempted to stay.  Part of it is because Yuuya looks too much like Yuuto; of course they were twins after all.  Maybe, just maybe he could settle for Yuuya.  Another part of him wants to use Yuuya just to spite Yuuto for playing with his heart like this.

            He knows that Yuuya isn’t offering anything more than just to sit on his couch and watch bad sitcoms.  He shouldn’t be thinking of doing such things with Yuuya.  He shouldn’t be angry at Yuuto for not loving him back.  He’s just frustrated over losing Ruri.  If she were here, she’d set him straight again.

            Shun leaves without a goodbye.  His heart is threatening to shatter into tiny pieces.  He wonders how at this point his heart hasn’t turned to dust.  Losing Ruri had already been enough to destroy him but now he felt like he was losing Yuuto too.

            Shun ends up at some club somewhere.  He had never been to a club before but the loud music is a welcome change.  The music is loud enough to drown out his thoughts and what little he can still hear is drowned out by the drink in his hand.

            “You look lonely,” A voice almost purrs in Shun’s ear.

            Shun turns away from the stranger.  He wants to be left alone.  He wants to sit here and wallow in self-pity.  He wants to drink until he can’t see.  He wants an excuse to call Yuuto to come pick him up so he doesn’t have to go home alone.

            “Oh come now, if you’re nice to me I’ll buy you a drink,”

            Tempting, Shun’s spent the last of his money on the drink in his hand.  He doesn’t even have money for a taxi ride home.

            “That’s better,” the stranger sighs, “My name is Yuuri, it’s a pleasure to meet you,”

            The stranger looks a lot like Yuuto.  They have the same eyes although the color is much different.  Yuuri’s eyes are closer to the shade that Ruri’s eyes used to be.  Yuuri is wearing a warm smile on his face, dimples grace with cheeks when he grins even wider.

            “I’m Shun,” Shun mutters.

            “What’s troubling you?” Yuuri asks as he orders Shun another drink, “You look sad,”

            Normally Shun wouldn’t explain this story to a stranger but normally Shun wasn’t this drunk.  He explains, as best as he can when he’s added three shots into his system, about Ruri’s disappearance.

            She was here one day then gone the next without a trace.  After a few days with no news, the detective on her case pronounced her dead.  A new search started for a body but even that failed.  The detective closed her case, saying something about girls like her going missing all the time.

            “That’s horrible,” Yuuri mumbles, “You must have been grief-stricken,”

            “I was more than that,” Shun explained, “She was my only family,”

            Yuuri places his hand over Shun’s arm.  For once, Shun doesn’t shy away from the touch.  He enjoys it.  Yuuri’s fingertips are warm and comforting against his cold skin.

            “You poor thing,” Yuuri murmurs quietly as he strokes Shun’s arm.

 

What happens next is a blur.  Shun vaguely remembers downing another shot and the next thing he was looking at was his ceiling.  He could hear someone cooking in the kitchen and for a spilt second he thought it was Ruri.  It wouldn’t be the first time he’s thought he had heard her.

            Shun staggers out to the kitchen to see Yuuto making breakfast.  Yuuto hands Shun a plate of something warm that only somewhat resembles what Shun thinks are eggs.  Yuuto had never been that great of a cook to begin with.

            “I tried to call and you didn’t answer,” Yuuto explains.  His face crumples with worry.  He won’t say what’s on his mind but Shun knows him well enough to know what he’s thinking, “I found you passed out in bed.  I can smell the alcohol on you so I thought I’d try to make you breakfast,”

            Shun scowls at the plate in front of him.  He doesn’t want to eat it.  He wants to go back to sleep.  He wants to yell at Yuuto for not loving him the way he wants, the way he _needs_.  He wants to break the plate in front of him and fall apart on the floor and cry.

            He wants Ruri.

           

Shun waits until Yuuto is gone before he crawls back into bed.  His head is pounding from a hangover and he doesn’t have the energy to face the world today.  He removes his coat first, pausing when he finds a piece of paper in its pocket.

            It’s a phone number, written in delicate cursive with deep purple ink.  It smells heavily of perfume, something floral but there’s a deeper undertone Shun couldn’t recognize.  Maybe Yuuya could, he was better at those kinds of things than Shun was.

            Under the number is a name: Yuuri.  Shun remembers the name and the face now.  Yuuri was the pretty boy that bought him a shot last night and got him a taxi ride home.  He doesn’t know why Yuuri’s left him this number but he calls it anyway.

            Yuuri answers on the third ring; his voice is soft as he speaks, “Hello?”

            “Yuuri?” Shun asks, “This is Shun, I’m the guy from the bar last night,”

            “Ahh,” Yuuri breathes and suddenly Shun’s heart sprints in his chest, “The ‘Vodka’ boy,”

            Shun laughs nervously, “Why don’t I take you out for dinner to repay you for last night?” Shun doesn’t know why he asks but there was something about Yuuri that felt magnetic.  Shun wants to spend more time with him and get to know him.

            “I’d rather not,” Yuuri sighs, “How about dinner at my place?  I’ll cook for the both of us,”

            Shun pauses momentarily, “Sure,” he agrees, “I would like that,”

            Yuuri laughs, cheerfully and soft like a baby’s laughter, “Great, I’ll text you my address.  Meet me at six,”

            “Of course, it will be great,” Shun agrees.  When he hangs up the phone, his heart is beating a mile a minute.  He hadn’t felt this excited in… in years.

            Shun looks through the clothes in his closet.  He doesn’t know why but suddenly he wants to wear something nice, he wants to impress Yuuri.  He wants Yuuri to like him.

            Shun ends up sitting frustrated in a pile of clothes.  Ruri usually helped him with this kind of thing.  She had an eye for style, he didn’t.  Shun tries to find something he thinks she would’ve liked.  He doesn’t look too bad when he looks into the mirror, his hair is still too long even after the last trim but he has no time to cut it.

            He doesn’t have a problem in finding Yuuri’s apartment.  It’s somewhat hidden away but he finds it after a few wrong turns.  He holds his breath when he waits outside Yuuri’s door before he finally knocks.

            Yuuri answers the door with a sweet smile on his face.  Shun was instantly hit with the scent of floral perfume and what smells like dinner cooking. 

            “You’re on time,” Yuuri smiles, “You’re a lot better than my last boyfriend,”

            Shun laughs nervously.  He wasn’t sure what to do now that he was here.  His heart beats loudly in his chest and he hopes that Yuuri cannot hear it.

            “Why don’t you take a seat?  Dinner will be done shortly,”

            Shun complies.  He takes a seat on Yuuri’s sofa.  It’s small and printed with images of intricate patterns that resemble flowers; for the most part it’s extremely uncomfortable.  All around the living room are plants of all sorts.  Shun vaguely remembers the name of them from his time in his Biology classes from high school. 

            Venus Fly Traps and a Pitcher Plant are sitting in the corner.  Something with long vines that reach the floor and threaten to trip him if he’s not watching where he steps.  Larkspur, Hyacinth and Nightshade are potted around the windowsill. 

            Shun is tempted to run his fingers over the petals, they’re beautiful and delicate.  He’s almost entranced by the sight and scent of them.

            “I wouldn’t touch those,” Yuuri sighs quietly.

            Shun jumps; he hadn’t heard Yuuri come in.  His footsteps were so soft against the hardwood floor that he hadn’t made the slightest of sounds.

            “Those are poisonous,” Yuuri explains, he runs his fingers over the leaves of one of the flowers, “You need to be careful around them.  You need to know exactly where to touch them or you could get sick,”

            “I’m sorry,” Shun apologizes, “I didn’t know,”

            “Most people don’t,” Yuuri sighs.  His voice sounded sweet but Shun could’ve sworn that he saw something flash in Yuuri’s eyes, “Never mind that, dinner is ready.  I’m sure you must be hungry,”

            Shun wasn’t ever hungry.  He hasn’t had an appetite since the moment it dawned on him that Ruri wasn’t coming home.  He hasn’t been hungry since then but the moment Yuuri places the plate in front of him he’s suddenly starving.

            Shun stares at the food on the plate.  It’s still hot and he can see the steam rising from it.  It smells good; he can smell the herbs and spices cooked into it.  It has a faint floral smell, like everything else in this house.  Shun’s mouth waters, tempted for a taste.

            Shun takes a bite, a small one since his stomach isn’t sure if it wants any food.  The taste is unique, with a certain sweetness to it.  It reminds Shun a little of the lamb he’s had once or twice but there’s a deeper undertone to it, something he cannot place.  The first animal his mind goes to is deer or maybe something else like elk.

            Either way, the food is good and Shun eats it all.  He hasn’t eaten like this in a long time and it feels good to enjoy his meal.  Yuuri smiles at him warmly.

            “I’m glad you enjoyed it,” he smiles.

            “You’re a good cook,”

            Yuuri laughs at the compliment.  His dimples appear again when his giggles fill the room, “You’re so sweet,” he laughs.

            When Shun leaves an hour later after dessert of a glass of wine, Yuuri says goodbye to him at the door.  He stands on the tips of his toes to kiss Shun once, a quick brush of his lips against Shun’s before he giggles to himself again.

            “Why don’t we do this again next week?” Yuuri suggests, with a smile that has seen too much wine, “I had a lot of fun with you tonight,”

            Shun simply nods.  He can’t speak through the haze of Yuuri’s sweet kiss, as if words were enough to explain the way he felt fight now.  Another night with Yuuri, the idea sent butterflies through Shun’s stomach.  He couldn’t wait.

            Yuuri smiles, “Good.  I’ll meet you next Friday then,”

            Shun nods, “Friday then,”


	2. Take Off Your Skin In the Cannibal Glow

Shun continues to have dinner with Yuuri throughout the course of a month.  At first they stick to Friday night for dinner but Friday eventually becomes Friday and Sunday and by the fourth week they’re meeting three times for dinner.

            Eventually Yuuri’s kisses lead to more than kissing. Shun becomes lost in Yuuri’s eyes, in his sweet, floral fragrance.  Shun just wants to revel in the attention he’s getting.  He wants Yuuri to make him feel whole and to fill the holes that Ruri left behind and the holes that Yuuto keeps digging.

            Shun’s not very experience, all his experience comes from the few times he and Yuuto had gotten too drunk and ended up is his bed together.  The other times come from Yuuto’s pity, when Shun was too broken to function and Yuuto tried to make him come alive again by pressing warm kisses into his cold skin.

            Yuuri is far more experienced than Yuuto ever was.  He knows exactly where to kiss and to touch.  Yuuri knows how to make Shun quiver and tremble.  Every move, every touch, wins Yuuri a gasp or a moan from Shun.

            “You’re too skinny,” Yuuri comments as he runs his hands along Shun’s chest, “I can count all your ribs,” Yuuri then drums his fingers against Shun’s ribs as if he were playing a piano, “I’ll fix that,”

            Shun just closes his eyes in response.  It felt nice to have Yuuri’s hands against his skin.  He could lay here forever.

            “I’ll take care of you,” Yuuri promises with another kiss into the dent in Shun’s collarbone, “I’ll take really good care of you,”

 

Months pass and Shun continues his new habit of visiting Yuuri for dinner every few nights.  He enjoys it; he enjoys having someone to go to and having someone to talk to.  He enjoys the time they spend together in Yuuri’s small apartment.

            He enjoys the nights they spend together in tangled sheets exchanging ‘I love you’s’ with shaking breaths.  He revels in the attention he gets, in the way that Yuuri looks at him with adoration so clear in his eyes. 

            He enjoys the time he’s spent reading on Yuuri’s sofa as he tended to his plants.  Sometimes his book is discarded because Shun’s eyes and ears are too easily distracted by the way Yuuri moves and the soft song he hums as he nurtures his growing flora.

            As the time passes, Shun slowly watches his reflection change in the mirror.  It’s subtle at first but he’s slowly watching the dark circles under his eyes fade away because he’s never slept better than he has with Yuuri in his bed.

            Shun watches as he slowly gains more weight.  His clothes fit better now, the way they used to.  Shun can no longer count his ribs and his collarbone doesn’t protrude as much.  Yuuri’s been feeding him well.

           Yuuri’s even begun to help Shun trim his hair.  It was strange; Shun had cut his own hair since he was fifteen.  Yuuri cuts it for him, trimming away the fringe until Shun can see better.  Yuuri cuts it straight, cutting away the crooked mess that Shun was used to.

            Shun feels more like his old self, and he’s looks that way too.  He still misses Ruri more than anything.  Sometimes she’ll cross his mind and he’ll fall apart again but Yuuri was always there to pick up the pieces.

            He thinks his getting better, but Yuuto doesn’t.

            “I haven’t seen you in over a month,” Yuuto scolds, “Where have you been?  I’ve been worried about you,”

            Shun shrugs; he doesn’t see where Yuuto is going with this.

            Yuuto sighs and shakes his head, “What have you been doing, Shun?  I’m really worried; even Yuuya is worried about you.  I don’t want to lose you Shun; you’re my best friend,”

            “You don’t need to worry about me,” Shun reminds.

            “I _am_ worried about you,” Yuuto interrupts, “Why don’t you try dating or something?  Yuuya knows a few people.  There’s this guy named Gongenzaka you might like.  There’s this guy named Shingo, too.  Yuuya can hook you up if you want me to ask him,”

            Shun shakes his head, “I’m already dating someone,”

            “Who?”

            “His name is Yuuri.  I met him at a bar the other night and we had dinner.  It was nice so things just developed from there,”

            Yuuto frowns, “How long have you been dating him?”

            “Around six months,” Shun admits.

            “How come you never told me?”

            “Why?  What does it matter to you?  You don’t want me so I found someone else,” Shun mutters defensively.

            “Shun, we’ve barely talked since you’ve met this guy.  I’m worried about you,” Yuuto repeats, “I don’t even know who he is.  You’ve never introduced me to him.  For all I know, he has alternative intentions,”

            Shun laughs, harsh and cold, “You should hear yourself.  You sound ridiculous.  I can hardly believe what I’m hearing.  Yuuri isn’t a bad guy; he takes good care of me,”

            “Don’t I take good care of you?” Yuuto asks, his tone mimicked Shun’s, “I’ve been picking up the pieces since Ruri died,”

            Shun flinches at the mention of Ruri’s name, “You’re always off with that boyfriend of yours, Yuuto.  I _needed_ you here with me.  I needed you but you were too busy to care so I found someone that _will_ take care of me,”

            “Shun,” Yuuto half-mumbles.  His voice is choked with pain when he speaks, “I want to be happy too,”

            “Then why can’t you be happy with me?  I thought we were best friends,”

          “No,” Yuuto interrupts, “You thought we were more than that.  I don’t want you in that way, Shun.  I don’t,”

            Shun can feel tears burning in the back of his eyes.  He swallows past the lump in his throat and speaks, “Then why?” he asks, his voice hoarse, “Then why do you tease me?”

            “I don’t-,”

            “You do.  That’s all you ever do,” Shun’s crying full force now, “Do you think I don’t notice the way you look at me?  Do you think I don’t notice the way you hold me for too long or the kisses you give me when you think I’m asleep?  Do you honestly think that I’m that stupid?”

            “I did all those things for you because I was afraid if I didn’t then you would kill yourself.  I was afraid if I didn’t give you something to make you happier then I’d come here one day and see you dead on the bathroom floor.  I’ve already lost one friend, Shun.  I can’t lose another,”

            “So you don’t love me?” Shun asks.

            “No,” Yuuto shakes his head, “I’m sorry Shun.  Maybe I did at one time but… things have changed.  I’ve changed, and you’ve changed.  I’m happy now, Shun.  You deserve to be happy too,”

            Tears stream down Shun’s face endlessly and he wishes with all his heart that Ruri was alive and here right now.  There’s no one he wants more than her.  He needs her advice and her good judgment.  He needs her soft voice and her warm hugs.  He needs his baby sister to make everything okay again.

            She’s not here, though.  She’ll never come back.  He’ll never hear her voice or see her smile.  He’ll never get the chance to walk her down the aisle and he’ll never get the chance to see her glowing and pregnant.  He’ll never meet his nephews and nieces.  

            He’ll never get to sit with her over morning coffee to reminisce over their childhood.  Ruri is gone; the future she deserved was stolen from her.

            When Yuuto leaves, Shun sits alone in the quiet, thinking about all that has happened.  He remembers every kiss and every touch he had shared with Yuuto.  He remembers the first night they had spent together, back when they were in college and they were both too drunk to think.

            The first night they had spent together is nothing more than a hazy memory now.  Shun was too drunk to remember much as that night except that he had felt so, so happy.  That was the first time Shun realized he was in love with Yuuto.

            The next night they had spent together had been too full of sadness.  It had been two weeks after Ruri had officially been declared dead.  The funeral had been held a day or so before.  Shun laid in bed the whole day, too tired, too broken to move.  Ruri had been the one that had died, but he had been acting like he had died too.

            He remembers it, the way Yuuto had come to him that night, smelling sweet like fresh picked berries hinted with the salty tinge of sweat.  Shun remembers Yuuto climbing into the bed right next to him, pulling the covers over the both of them.  He remembers the feeling of Yuuto’s hands, warm and calloused as they glided over his body, removing his clothes as if they were melting away.

            Shun’s heart stirs at the memory of the kiss they had shared.  So hot when Shun felt so cold and so dead.  Yuuto made him feel like he was alive again.  Every touch, every little sound that Yuuto made, it was pure bliss.

            Now those memories were tainted.  He had thought that Yuuto had done it out of love but now he could see that it was just pity.  He knew it was nothing more than pity all along but some part of him had hoped that maybe it was some part love too.

            Shun soon finds himself at Yuuri’s door.  He needs a distraction, a way to ease the pain.  He can feel himself slipping back into old patterns again, back into the darkness that grips him so tightly that he wonders how he doesn’t suffocate.

            Yuuri’s usual smile isn’t there when he opens the door.  He stares at Shun for a moment, wordlessly.  Shun can smell something, something overpoweringly sweet wafting out of the door.

            “I brought your favorite wine,” Shun says as he holds up the bottle, “I just thought it would be nice to drop in to surprise you,”

           Yuuri doesn’t smile; he doesn’t even take the bottle from Shun.  He blinks slowly, as if he’s tired or annoyed, Shun can’t tell which.

            “Is this a bad time?” Shun asks, all the enthusiasm he’s faking disappears.

            “It is,” Yuuri says curtly.  He smiles, finally, “Never mind, I’ll make an exception for you.  Come inside,”

            Shun sighs in relief and steps over the threshold.  Had it always been this cold, he wonders.  The sweet scent is almost intoxicating now; Shun is starting to feel a little light headed.

            Yuuri sits him down on the couch, leaving him alone momentarily as he begins to tend to his plants, “I wish you had called,” Yuuri sighs, “I would’ve made you dinner,”

            “I’m fine,” Shun says as he watches Yuuri trim the dead leaves off his plants.

            “Did you want something else then?” Yuuri asks, he peeks up at Shun before his eyes return to the plants he’s tending to.

            “I just…”

            “Wanted to sleep with me?” Yuuri finishes the sentence for Shun.

            Shun’s eyes widen.  Yuuri had never been this forward with him before.  He’s right, Shun supposes.  He didn’t come here with food in mind and he’s not in the mood to talk about how horrible this day has been.

            “Hmm…” Yuuri sighs, “I don’t want you to go hungry.  Let me feed you first, then we can do anything you want,”

            Shun agrees, smiling when Yuuri gives him a quick kiss before heading into his kitchen, “Do you want any help?” Shun asks.

            “Why not?” Yuuri shoots Shun another heart-warming smile, cheeks dimpling, “It will be romantic, don’t you think?”

            Yuuri directs Shun to wash the vegetables.  The plants look familiar but Shun can’t quite remember what they are.  He hasn’t seen them in the grocery stores he frequented or in the little farmer’s market he passed by on the way to work every morning.

            “What are these?” Shun asks as he juliennes the leaves, following Yuuri’s instructions.

            “It’s just a type of spinach,” Yuuri explains and the scent of sautéing onions fills the kitchen.

            “I’ve never seen any shaped like this,” Shun says as he inspects a single leaf. 

            “I grew it myself.  The one’s you’re familiar with are domesticated.  Mine are from the wild, grown in a nice pot with plenty of sunlight and healthy soil.  It’s so much healthier for you than the pesticide ridden store bought kind,”

            Shun doesn’t ask any further questions.  He finishes the tasks Yuuri had given him and then he leans down to plant a kiss against Yuuri’s neck as he cooks.

            “I’m hungry,” Shun says as he kisses neck Yuuri’s neck down to his shoulders.  He places his hands on Yuuri’s hips, trailing his hands upward, slipping into Yuuri’s shirt.

            “I’m almost done here,” Yuuri murmurs as he stirs the cooking meal.

            “I didn’t mean for the food,” Shun continues to hint.

            “I know,” Yuuri smiles as he begins to serves the food.

            Yuuri smiles sweetly at Shun over dinner.  Yuuri laughs at all of Shun’s poor attempts at jokes and Shun wonders how he’s gotten so lucky to find someone like Yuuri, someone that loved him and took care of him. 

            “I fought with Yuuto,” Shun explains once they’ve finished eating.  They’re both entwined together on Yuuri’s couch.  Yuuri’s head rests against Shun’s chest.

            “You have?  Over what?” Yuuri asks, slipping his fingers under Shun’s shirt.

            “It was nothing,” Shun lies, “I’m just angry and frustrated,”

            “So you came here to release your tension,”

            “I guess I did,” Shun admits a little.

            Yuuri laughs.  It sounds like his usual giggle, almost.  There’s something else in his tone that Shun can’t quite place.

            Yuuri smiles, moving to sit on Shun’s lap.  Shun barely has time to register anything before Yuuri’s lips are crushed against his, hard and demanding.  Yuuri’s lips travel over Shun’s jaw, down his neck.  Shun flinches in pain when he feels Yuuri’s teeth sinking into the flesh of his neck.

            It doesn’t hurt that much.  Shun puts off most of the pain as just a side effect of shock.  He’s not used to Yuuri biting him because Yuuri had never done that before.  Shun was enjoying it, but something at the back of his mind was begging him to run.

            Yuuri bites harder until Shun could feel his teeth pierce the skin.  Shun feels his blood tickle down his neck, splashing onto the collar of his shirt.  He feels Yuuri tongue, moving in quick swipes to collect the blood that was gathering on his skin.

            “What are you doing?” Shun asks, breathless.

            “You taste so sweet,” Yuuri sighs, “I couldn’t help myself from taking a bite,”

            Yuuri smiles sweetly up at Shun.  There’s blood at the corners of his lips.  His dimples appear when his smile widens as he leans Shun back into the couch.  He giggles, straddling Shun’s hips, grinding against him roughly.

            Shun watches as Yuuri’s sweet smile suddenly changes.  The corners of Yuuri’s lips tip up wickedly.  His eyes are half-lidded as he continues to grind against Shun, moving harder and rougher with each thrust against Shun’s body.

            “Oh,” Yuuri sighs, the sound slips through his lips in a soft moan, “Let me… let me taste you again,”

            Shun complies, letting Yuuri lower his mouth down to his collarbone.  Yuuri sucks at the skin there, biting into it until it’s almost painful.  Shun hisses through his teeth, his fingers dig deep into Yuuri’s clothes, pulling at them.

            Yuuri’s teeth pierce his skin again and Shun can feel the blood run down his shoulder.  Yuuri gasps, trying to lick up every drop of Shun’s blood.

            “I didn’t know,” Shun murmurs between Yuuri’s little gasps of pleasure, “That you were into this kind of stuff,”

            Yuuri giggles again, choosing to bite into Shun’s jaw now, “Mmm,” he giggles, “You taste amazing,”

            Yuuri bites hard until he tastes more blood.  He’s practically shaking in excitement.  His body is high off of the taste of Shun’s skin, of his blood and of his sweat.

          “You taste like she did,” Yuuri moans, licking at the blood that he had collected on his fingertips, “Amazing,”

            “Like who?” Shun asks.  He knew Yuuri had dated before, but now he was curious.  Did this mysterious girl have a name?

            “Like Ruri,”


	3. The Beat and the Lust It Commands

Shun heart stops dead in his chest.  For a moment, he stops breathing.  He stops feeling or seeing.  When his eyes finally focus again, Yuuri is staring him straight in the eyes.

            Yuuri’s warm smile is gone, replaced with a sinister grin, “Did I hit a nerve, Shun Dear?  I’m _so_ sorry,” he murmurs sadistically.

            “What?” Shun mumbles, confused.  His mind refuses to accept what it had just heard.  He was just hearing things, right?

            “Your precious baby sister.  Mmm... she tasted so good.  Like strawberries in cream, or was it raspberries?  Hmm…,”

            Shun could punch Yuuri straight in his stupid smirk, “Did you touch her?” He spits.

            “Oh,” Yuuri’s face slips into a small pout, “You’re asking if I _touched_ her?  Oh no, Ruri and I were just friends.  She was so nice to me too.  It’s almost a shame that I ate her, really.  Almost… she really was quite delectable…,”

            The word rings painfully in Shun’s head.  _Ate._ Yuuri _ate_ his sister.

            “You look sick,” Yuuri sighs softly, his tongue tracing Shun’s fresh wounds, pressing in painfully, “Mmm… Are you only catching up now?  I’m surprised… How can you look so disgusted when you’ve eaten everything I made you?”

            “What did you _feed_ me?” Shun demands.  He feels sick, his stomach turns and his mouth is so dry.

            “ _Who_ would be a better question,” Yuuri says, sitting back and examining his nails.  He licks one, cleaning off Shun’s drying blood, "My Landlady, my annoying neighbor, that kid that stole my mail,"

            Shun retches, trying to turn to the side so he won’t choke but Yuuri is so heavy on top of him that he can’t move.  His throat burns from stomach acid and he can’t breathe.  He’s choking, trying to gasp for a breath of air.

            “Now I’ll have to clean you up,” Yuuri sighs, annoyed, “You’re such a dirty boy,”

            Yuuri lifts Shun’s head up by his hair, leaning his head over to the side so Shun can choke out the lost contents of his stomach.  He spits, trying to get as much out as he can.  Human flesh… that was what that sweet, unidentifiable meat had been.  Human flesh, he had been eating human flesh…

            Shun’s body feels so weak… He wants to knock Yuuri to the ground, to slam his head into the floor until he can hear Yuuri’s skull crack open.  Yuuri had killed his sister, Yuuri ate her.  He killed her and ate her like she was livestock.

            Shun can’t move, he tries but his body refuses.  He can’t even lift his head anymore.  He lays like a puppet at Yuuri’s control as Yuuri drags him into the bathroom, dropping his head painfully against the cold tile floor with a sharp crack resonating in the air.

            Yuuri sighs, exasperated, “You came at a bad time,” he says, “I was in the middle of harvesting so you’ll have to wait for me to clean you up,”

            “Why… why can’t I move?  What did you do?”

            “I’ve been poisoning you slowly,” Yuuri says with a casual wave as his hand, as if he’s just explaining how to use his dishwasher, “Everything I fed you, it was all poisoned.  Why did you think I have all those poisonous plants?  They’re here for more than to just hide the stench of the rot, you know.  It took a while for the poison to build up in your body, too long actually.  I had to give you an extra potent dose tonight for it to finally work enough to weaken you to this point,”

            “You’re… sick…”

            Yuuri laughs.  His laughter sounds twisted, far from his usual bubbly giggles, “Oh Shun, you’re so romantic.  Say that again, please,”

            Shun watches from his place on the floor, his face is pressed against the tile but he still has a decent view of Yuuri’s bathtub.  He watches as Yuuri kneels in front of it, rolling up his sleeves and reaching in.  His harvest… Yuuri had a body in his bath tub, there had been a dead person in here the whole time Shun had been sitting on Yuuri’s couch, the whole time they had been preparing dinner.  He hears it then, the sickening sound of tearing flesh before Yuuri pulls out a small lump of raw flesh, covered in blood, and smears it across Shun’s face.

            Yuuri sighs, forcing Shun’s jaw open so he can slip his bloodied fingers into Shun’s mouth.  Shun gags, tasting blood and raw human flesh.  He heaves, but his stomach is too empty for anything to come up.

            He feels Yuuri’s free hand cradling his head, “Eat it,” Yuuri commands.  His voice sounds so sweet that Shun can hardly believe that Yuuri could really be this cruel and sadistic, “Eat it, Shun.  I want you to swallow it,”

            Shun shakes his head, blood and drool trickling out of his mouth and down his chin.  He’s choking again, coughing and gagging on the blood.

            “I’ve swallowed what you’ve given me, haven’t I?” Yuuri reminds, “I’ve swallowed _everything_ you gave me,”

            Shun tries to gasp for a breath and Yuuri takes his chance to shove his hand deeper into Shun’s mouth.  He moves until he’s straddling Shun again, grinding against his hips like he had been doing less than ten minutes before.  Shun can feel how hard he is through the fabric of their clothes. 

            Yuuri moans, quiet and soft.  He sounds more like a kitten mewing that a cannibalistic murderer.  He presses his fingers harder into Shun’s throat; Shun can feel his fingernails biting into his sensitive esophagus.

            “What does it taste like?” Yuuri asks, grinding harder against Shun’s hips, “Sweet?  Doesn’t it taste sweet?  No other animal can mimic this taste.  Lamb, deer, hen… Nothing tastes this luscious.  Nothing matches human flesh,”

            “S-stop,” Shun begs.  Tears are burning his eyes and he can’t breathe.

            “Swallow and I’ll stop,”

            Shun shakes his head, “I’ll kill you,” he promises, “I’m going to kill you,”

           “Why?  Because I ate your sister?  I assure you, nothing went to a waste.  I ate everything, her skin, her flesh, her organs, her bones.  Her bones… I grinded them down into flour and then I made bread with it.  It went so well with the soup I made out of her heart and lungs,”

            Shun gags up more acid, choking when Yuuri presses his hand harder and deeper into his throat.  Yuuri laughs again, grinding against Shun’s hips.  Shun can hear him unzip his pants.

            “I’ve been waiting for this moment,” Yuuri sighs, “To share this with you.  I wanted to kill you originally but… I’ve enjoyed our time together… I want to… I want to keep you,”

            “Why would I want to stay with you?” Shun manages through the burning in his throat.

            “Who do you have left?  Yuuto has left you and he was all you had either than me.  Besides, how can you move on now?  You’ve had a taste of human flesh, of blood, how can you move on when you’ll crave it for the rest of your life?”

            “I won’t-,”

            “You will!” Yuuri sings, “It will be all you can think about, all you _dream_ about.  You’ll salivate every time a child brushes too close to you.  That’s how it starts you know, with children.  They’re too small, too vulnerable.  It’s so easy to lure one away from wandering eyes and straight into your home.  They’re so small so they don’t last long, so you’ll find another and then another and another until you’ve finally satisfied your craving.  Oh Shun, don’t you realize this yet?  You’ll never be satisfied,”

            “You’re a monster,” Shun mutters hoarsely.

            “Mmmm,” Yuuri sighs, grinding against Shun, “Say that again, you don’t know what that does to me,”

            Shun could feel Yuuri’s hands between his thighs, rubbing him through the fabric of his jeans.  Shun gasps, shaking.  He can’t kick Yuuri off of him no matter how hard he pushes.  He struggles, trying to throw Yuuri off of him.

            “Maybe I’ll make this part of you a toy,” Yuuri giggles, rubbing harder until Shun gasps again, choking on the blood Yuuri was feeding him.

            “Don’t touch me,” Shun hisses.

            “Oh… come now Shun.  You came here just for this didn’t you?  Don’t you like it when I touch you?  After all, I’ve touched you everywhere.  On my couch, on my bed, in the kitchen, even in this bathtub right here,” Yuuri taps the porcelain with his fingertips, “This is where she died you know, right here in this bath tub that you _fucked_ me in,”

            Shun wretches again, the taste of bile and blood fill his mouth.  Yuuri presses down into his throat, forcing Shun to cough and splutter all over his face.

            “She called for you, you know,” Yuuri laughs, “She didn’t even care about herself; she was so worried about you.  She was afraid of what would happen to you if she died.  She must have thought the world of you.  I don’t know about that… you’re far from great,”

            “I’ll kill you,” Shun promises again, weaker this time.  Yuuri’s fingers are choking him and he can taste bile and blood.  His body is too weak from all the poison Yuuri had been feeding him.  Why?  Why had he been so stupid?

            “I like that,” Yuuri smiles, grinding back down on Shun so rough that it’s painful, “I like that look on your face when you say that.  Say it again for me, please?”

            Shun shakes his head and Yuuri frowns.  He removes his hand from Shun’s mouth, using the slick saliva to pleasure himself.  He wraps his fingers around his length, using quick motions to bring himself to his climax.  He moans when he does, leaning his head back and sighing.

            His hand is wet from semen, mixed in with the blood and bile mixture from Shun’s mouth.  He smiles, smearing it onto Shun’s face, over his lips before he slips his fingers back in.  It’s so bitter that Shun can’t stop himself from gagging again at the taste of it.

            “Join me, Shun,” Yuuri asks again.  Somehow Shun knows this is his final chance, his final shot before Yuuri decides to kill him, “I could make you so, so happy.  Isn’t that what you wanted?  Someone to fill the gap your precious baby sister left behind?  No?  Or am I just a replacement for Yuuto since you can’t have him?”

            Shun remains silent, his throat burns too much.  The stomach acid and Yuuri’s sharp fingernails has left him so sensitive. 

            “Well?” Yuuri asks, pressing his fingers in deeper, further until Shun’s essentially choking on him.

            Shun shakes his head, glaring at Yuuri.  He won’t, he can’t.  Yuuri killed his sister, his only family.  Yuuri didn’t just kill her, but he ate her too.  She deserved so much more than what Yuuri had done to her.

            Yuuri sighs, annoyance filling his tone when he speaks, “You’ve made a mistake, I hope you realize that.  I won’t kill you, Shun, not yet at least.  I _will_ keep you, Shun, whether you like it or not.  Eventually, you’ll learn to come over to my side and join me on this adventure. 

            Eventually you’ll learn but if you don’t…  I’ve had several experiments in mind,” Yuuri waves his free hand in the air, twirling his finger around in a circle, “I was thinking about how farmers feed their cattle different grains to change the flavor of their meat.  So, shouldn’t that work for humans as well?  If I feed you human flesh, then shouldn’t you taste twice as good?” Yuuri laughs, bright and happy, “I’m going to force feed you, Shun.  Won’t that be fun?  I gave you a chance but… heh… it will be more fun this way,”

            “Why me?” Shun asks, “Why did you choose me?”

            Yuuri lifts Shun’s wrist to his mouth.  He bites hard until his mouth is filled with Shun’s blood, “Oh Shun, it’s so simple,” he sighs, “You’re orgasmic,”


	4. Drop the Dagger and Lather the Blood On Your Hands

Shun’s next few days are filled with him drifting in and out of consciousness.  When he’s awake, Yuuri is always there, feeding him something that Shun eats without question.  His body is starving, too used to being well fed.  Yuuri doesn’t feed him enough so when he does come with food, Shun eats it.

            Sometimes when Yuuri is there, he is placing soft kisses into Shun’s body, one against his neck, another against each shoulder, more across his chest and stomach and then finally across his lips.

            When Yuuri comes, he speaks softly, sweetly like he used to.  He sighs Shun’s name, over and over until it’s all Shun hears when he is gone.  It repeats in his head like a prayer or an old lullaby.  Sometimes Shun thinks he’s just imagining it.

            When Shun is asleep, he dreams.  He dreams of Yuuto, of holding his hand like they used to in high school.  He dreams of Yuuya, sometimes, of his bright eyes and brighter, blinding smile.  Sometimes it’s Yuuya’s cheerful laughter that keeps Shun from losing his mind.  It’s the only sound left that doesn’t hurt.

            Sometimes, when Shun is caught between unconsciousness and reality, he hears it, the most heartbreaking sound.  Ruri calls to him; she calls his name, his nickname, the one she had given him.  He hears her pleading him to stay with her in Hell, but sometimes she asks him to stay alive, to keep fighting, to keep breathing.  He’s not sure which one is really her and which one is his mind playing tricks on him.

            He feels her too, her hands on his shoulders, her breath on his neck.  Sometimes he feels her sitting in his lap, smaller, younger, the way she used to sit in their father’s lap when she could barely talk.

            Shun wishes his hands were free the touch her, to hold her hand, to kiss her head.  He wishes she would stay but she never does, she always disappears.

            “Kill me,” Shun begs when Yuuri feeds him that night, “Just kill me now,”

            Yuuri ignores Shun’s pleads, feeding him another spoonful of whatever stew he had made.  Shun barely registers what he’s eating.  He can’t tell what it is anymore.  He doesn’t know if it’s poisoned or if it’s human.  Shun doesn’t care anymore, his body eats it all before Shun has a chance to refuse.

            Yuuri lifts the spoon to Shun’s mouth, coaxing him to eat.  His smile is so sweet, so cloyingly sweet, that it makes Shun dizzy.  He eats what Yuuri spoon feeds him.  He tries to ignore the way it tastes, trying to convince himself that it’s just deer. 

            Yuuri laughs, bright and happy.  He leans in to kiss Shun, running his tongue over Shun’s lower lip, “Mmm,” he sighs, his hand coming up to latch into Shun’s hair, “Let me… let me make you happy, Shun.  I love you,”

            Shun trembles, “Stop lying to me,”

            “It’s the truth, Shun.  I love you.  I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone,”

            “Does that include yourself?” Shun spits.

            “Haha, now let’s be realistic here,” Yuuri laughs, “Ahh… Don’t you want me, Shun?  Don’t you love me?  Dennis never did, he told me he loved me but…  Oh, in the end I had to kill him too.  I killed him, I killed his new lover, and his other new lover. 

            Heh… That’s how this all started you know.  I killed him but I didn’t want to let him go.  So I ate him so he would be with me forever.  I ate him, I ate them all.  I ate them and I never wanted to stop.

            You won’t do that to me, will you?  Won’t you stay with me?  Won’t you love me?”

            “How could I love you?  You killed my sister!  My… my baby sister… she was just a child, just a baby…  You killed and you ate her!  You made her suffer!  You made me suffer,”

            The smile on Yuuri’s face is gone; it’s broken, fallen away into a frown.  For a moment, Shun thinks he sees actually guilt in Yuuri’s eyes, in the way his lips tremble, in the way that his hands shake.

            “I loved her… She was my everything, my world, my reason for living.  My baby… She was _mine_.  I _raised_ her, I took care of her.  She was mine, my child, my responsibility.  I failed her… I lost her… I let her die,”

            Yuuri forces another spoonful into Shun’s mouth, forcing him to shut up.  Shun coughs, spluttering the still warm gravy onto his shirt.  Yuuri sighs, another mess to clean up.

            “You’re so good today,” Yuuri praises as he cleans Shun an hour later.  Shun’s laying in the bathtub, half-conscious.  Some part of him thinks that he might already be dead.

            Shun wonders how many people have died here, staring up at the ceiling molded with floral patterns that resembles orchids.  How many bodies has this bathtub seen?  How much blood has filled it?  How much of it was washed down the drain along with bleach to hide the smell?  Shun wonders how many have lain here, cold and naked, wondering the same things that he was.

            Ruri… she had been here too.  She had died here, in the very place he was laying in.  She had breathed her last breath here; she had stared up at the orchid ceiling.  She had felt Yuuri’s hands, soft and supple, cutting her apart like an animal.

            She had been here, crying for him, crying for him not because she was scared for herself but because she was afraid that he would fall apart without her.  He did, he fell apart, he fell for Yuuri’s charms like an insect fell for the sweet nectar of a Venus Fly Trap before it got swallowed whole.

            “I-,” Shun begins, “I’m so tired,”

            “Shh, you can sleep soon… I’ll carry you back to bed,” Yuuri murmurs, pushing stray strands of hair out of Shun’s eyes.

           

           

Shun doesn’t know how much time has passed.  He feels like it’s been years, a decade maybe.  His body feels numb, tired, exhausted.  Ruri’s voice is so much clearer now and Shun knows that he’s so close to seeing her again.  The thought puts a weak smile on his face; he’d be with his sister again.

            This time when Yuuri feeds him, Shun’s body refuses to eat it.  He gags on every bite, retching up whatever Yuuri manages to get down.  He’s weak from hunger but he feels stronger than ever.  He even has the strength to smirk at Yuuri.

            “I’m dying,” Shun gasps, “I’m not like one of your plants; you can’t take care of me,”

            “Not yet, I’m not finished with you,” Yuuri mutters, trying to force more food down Shun’s throat.

            Shun gags on it, coughing it up onto the floor, “I’m sick, you’ve made me sick,” Shun laughs, his voice hoarse and croaky, “Isn’t that what you wanted, Yuuri?  You wanted to kill me so you could eat me,”

            Yuuri frowns.  He tosses the bowl across the room, bored of the chore.  Why did it always have to end this way?  Why couldn’t he just find someone that he could keep?

            He drags Shun to the bed.  One last go, he thinks, one last time to enjoy Shun before he gets to eat his tender flesh.  Yuuri couldn’t help but feel a little excited at the thought; Shun’s blood wasn’t enough to sate him anymore.  He wanted Shun’s flesh, hot and tender in his mouth, melting away with each chew like butter.  The thought of it had him hard in just seconds.

            “I’m going to cut you open,” Yuuri sighs, unzipping his pants, “I’m going to spill your blood until I’m covered in it… I’m going to watch you cry and scream and shake,” Yuuri giggles, innocent dimples in his cheeks, “Oh Shun, we could have it all if you would join me,”

            “Why should I?” Shun asks.  The question is genuine.  Shun wants to know why?  What good would it do?  Would he be happy again, for once since Ruri died?

            “You want it too, Shun.  I can see it in your eyes.  You can deny the truth all you want but I know, Shun, I know.  You can’t deny the fact that you love me.  You can’t deny the fact that I’m all you have left.  You can’t deny that some part of you wants all of this.  I can see it in your eyes, Shun.  You’re a hunter just like me,”

            For a moment, Shun can see it.  He can see himself spending the rest of their lives together.  He sees Yuuri’s plants, growing in a pretty garden.  He sees Yuuri cooking dinner every night.  He sees Yuuri, strong and lithe, as he slices into a fresh body, blood spilling everywhere.

            For a moment, Shun believes that he wants all of that.  He wants to be loved and to love again.  He wants to fill the void Ruri left behind, the void Yuuto left behind.  He feels so alone but he would never be alone if he had Yuuri. 

            That vision vanishes, disappearing like a cloud of smoke into the air.  Yuuri may love him now, but long how would it take until he became bored?  How long until Shun became a target again?  Yuuri loved him, but not for long.

            Then Shun sees it, a literal sparkle of hope as the small shears Yuuri uses to clip at his plants shimmers in the light.  Shun grabs it, stabbing at Yuuri’s chest as hard as he can.

            At first, there’s silence.  Neither of them can speak in the shock of what has just happened.  Yuuri’s hand flutters up to his chest, gripping at the protruding scissors to pull them out.  Blood spurts everywhere, down Yuuri’s chest, onto Shun’s face, everywhere.

            “Huh,” Yuuri laughs nervously, “You… you stabbed me… I can’t believe-,” Yuuri stops, swaying before he coughs up blood, “My… my lungs,” he panics, the usually composed expression on his face melts away into fear, “You-you,” Yuuri collapses onto Shun, he shudders, gasping for a breath but his lungs are too filled with blood.  He chokes on it, finally suffocating into eternal silence.

            Shun closes his eyes, his heart racing and his lungs burn for more oxygen.  He’s done it, he’s killed Yuuri.  He’s killed his lover, his sister’s murderer.  Now he’s no better than Yuuri ever was, he was a monster too.


	5. Your Kiss and I Will Surrender

When Shun opens his eyes again, the ceiling above him is sterile white.  He can smell bleach with undertones of decay.  He wants to gag but something else is in his way, a tube down his throat.  He panics and a beeping fills the room.

            “Hey, shh, shh,” Yuuya’s hands are suddenly on Shun’s chest, “Calm down, you’re in the hospital,”

            Shun stares wide-eyed at Yuuya, trying to convey every question he has.

            “Yuuto,” Yuuya begins, “He’s in the hall, talking to your doctor.  We found you in critical condition,”

            Yuuto was here?  Even after the fight they had, he was still here?  Maybe this was just another trick, something Yuuri was doing to coddle him into eating again.  After all, he looked and sounded enough like Yuuya; it wouldn’t be hard for him to pretend that he was Yuuya.

            Shun panics and his heart monitor screams.  Yuuya’s face crumples in fear as he tries to do something to calm Shun down.  A nurse comes in and presses some button that Shun can’t reach.  A sudden cool sensation fills Shun’s veins and he calms down.  The nurse shoots a pointed look at Yuuya before leaving.

            “I’m sorry,” Yuuya apologies, “Did I say something wrong?”

            Shun can’t answer coherently anymore.  He can just stare at Yuuya in silence.  Yuuya’s sighs, feeling useless, he wishes Yuuto would return before he set off Shun’s heart monitor again.

            “Hey Yuuya,” Yuugo murmurs awkwardly, standing alone in the door way, “Can you give me and Shun a minute alone?”

            Yuuya jumps at the chance and runs.  He’s glad to be out of there before the nurse scolds him again.

            Yuugo takes a seat next to Shun’s bed.  He looks awkward sitting there, like he doesn’t belong which he doesn’t and he knows it.  He’s Yuuto’s boyfriend, the one that was stealing Shun’s best friend way.

            “I’m sorry about this,” Yuugo apologizes even though he’s not at fault, “Yuuto loves you, you know.  He really does, I see it every time he looks at you.  He feels horrible that this happened to you and he regrets not… giving you what you wanted.

            Heh, I know about the kisses too, Shun.  The kisses, the hugs, the… well you know.  I’m not mad about it. I guess I can understand how you feel.  I mean, you lost your kid sister, Yuuto lost his friend...  I felt the same way when I lost Rin.  Things were bound to happen, right?”

            Yuugo doesn’t have a chance to continue before Yuuto walks through the door.  Yuugo moves immediately, accommodating for Yuuto to drop to his knees at Shun’s bed.

            “Shun,” Yuuto begins, tears filling his eyes until he can no longer see.  He takes Shun’s hand and kisses his palm, “I thought I lost you,”

            Shun wishes he could speak, to say something or anything at all to Yuuto.  He can’t, all he can do is stare and pray that Yuuto still knows him well enough to read the emotion in his eyes.

            “We found you,” Yuuto says, “I didn’t have much to go on, just a first name, but we found you.  It was bad, Shun, so bad.  The doctors thought that you wouldn’t make it.  Yuuri,” Yuuto spits his name like acid, “They couldn’t find him… he got away,”

            Shun’s breathing hitches in response.  He couldn’t do it, he couldn’t kill Yuuri.  He could remember it as if it were only a dream, the feeling of the shears as they puncture Yuuri’s chest, the blood that splattered everywhere.  He was so sure that he had killed him.  For some reason, Shun feels relieved to know that Yuuri is alive, still breathing.

            “They found it all, all the evidence.  So many people, so many victims,” Yuuto pauses, taking a deep breath, “They found… They found Ruri too, Shun.  There wasn’t much, just some of her hair that he made into rope.  He ate her… He ate people… He was going to eat you,”

            Shun could feel tears trickling down his face.  Some part of him had been hoping that it had been a lie, that Yuuri hadn’t really killed his sister.  He had hoped that maybe, maybe there was still a chance that Yuuri loved him and that he could still love Yuuri.

 

It takes several long weeks and a lot of convincing before the doctor agrees that Shun’s health is finally stable enough for him to leave the hospital.  Shun steps out into the world again, feeling even more isolated than he had when Ruri had died.

            She is gone forever.  Whatever slim hope Shun had had of her coming home again has dried up completely.  He’s seen the evidence; he’s seen the truth in Yuuri’s eyes.  She’s gone and he wishes that he were too.

            Yuuto is getting married now and eventually Shun knows he’ll lose him completely too.  It’s only a matter of time until he is completely forgotten, until Yuuto gives up on him and moves on with his life the way he did when Ruri died.

            Yuuri… Yuuri is gone now too.  Shun feels ashamed but he can’t help but want Yuuri back.  He misses him, the sweet fragrance of fresh flowers that cut through the stench of rot and decay.  He misses the soft touches like silk against his skin and the warmth of Yuuri’s fingertips as they traced patterns into it.  He misses the sweet almost heady taste of Yuuri’s lips with hidden, bloodied teeth waiting like a shark in the water.

            Shun’s beginning to feel it already, the ache, the thirst, the hunger that Yuuri had warned him about.  Shun’s hungry, starved even though he’s just eaten.  He wants it, the taste of that lingering sweetness that only human flesh could give him. 

             He ignores it as best as he can.  He doesn’t want to kill; he doesn’t want to hurt anyone.  The temptation is strong but he’s been watched, guarded by the police that want to keep him safe if Yuuri ever comes back.  Shun can’t make a move without risking being caught. 

            Even with the police watching him, that doesn’t stop Yuuri from coming back.  His smile no longer hides any secrets, it’s unapologetic.  He smiles with the cunning of a fox that has just stolen its meal, with the venom of a snake, with the satisfaction of a cat with feathers still caught in its whiskers. 

            Shun knows those feathers belong to him, Yuuri has caught him again and he won’t let his prey get away again.

            This time, Shun doesn’t try to fight back.  He lets Yuuri do as he pleases.  He lets Yuuri lean down to bite into his flesh again, to taste his blood and his skin.  He lets Yuuri tremble in pleasure as he grinds himself down against Shun’s hips, as he bites Shun’s lips.

            Shun’s too broken to fix anymore.  He’s lost too much, been through too much.  Yuuri has been the only light to guide his way.  He doesn’t care that Yuuri is a killer, he doesn’t care that Yuuri is a monster, he is a monster too. 

            After all, Ruri would want him to be happy, right?

 


End file.
